"Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders."
All day long. Awake, asleep - at work, at home. Today, it's really all I can think of. And not for myself. Today my heart is heavy watching those I love struggle, hurt and endure. And, where I would shield them all day if I could. And I would gather them into my arms, I realize my arms aren't long enough. My vision is not broad enough. My presence is not strong enough. I...am not God. I cannot "keep" those around me.
One of my friends said recently, "human love will always disappoint." And it finally hit home. No one's love is like God's. And though I have learned to look to Him for my love. My security. I trespass His sovereignty when I let others look to me for their safety. Or when I am foolishly proud enough to think I can be that love for someone. Keep them safe. It gives me a glimpse into the struggle parents have handing their kids lives to God. They want to care for them, take care of all theirs needs and make them happy. But they know in their hearts they cannot. And that beloved child must rest secure in God - the God who shields him all day long.
Kind of heavy - but it's what I'm thinking.
We're leaving today to drive to West Virginia! And I'm so excited to take a trip with my best friend. We need this time. But, driving into the past really feels like traveling back in time. And sometimes, going down that road (literally) is painful. I spent 17 years in West Virginia. And, honest to the Lord never really liked being there. I'm so glad God released me! But there's something about the place where you were raised that just gets deep into your soul. It's so bittersweet. Watching home videos in your mind and knowing that even the painful moments really have been used for your good. And that I emerged from the time spent there with treasures of friendship, family and identity that no one can mess with.
A couple years ago my Pastor spouted off a phrase that left an indellible impression me. Just in the middle of conversation, as she so often does (like one of those crazy preachers who actually live what they preach), she left me with a bit of wisdom that will serve me for a lifetime. "You can afford to be generous," she said to me as I left for one of my many college breaks. "God has been lavishly generous with you and you can afford to be generous."
I tuck that in my heart every time I head to Fairmont, WV. I can afford huge efforts and displays of generosity because I have received such ridiculously overwhelming love from God. Yep.
We can all afford it.
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