f r a g m e n t s . . .

Most of us have thoughts en medias ras; they come and they pass with little or no acknowledgement. Thoughts we have in the middle of our day which are too "weighty" or "real" to share with anyone. They're so out of place in the middle of our treasured monotony and superficiality.

The tragedy? Some of these are our very best thoughts. Our God-thoughts. Thoughts that could change our world. They drift in and blow away like fall leaves, never held closely enough to consider their worth. Their origin. Their destination. They're just fragments of what could become dreams realized or lives changed...

So, the point of this blog? (Which is so not "me" by the way.) To give a voice to some of these fragments and maybe see them come to fruition. Maybe see them accumulate into a story instead of a conglomeration of useless modicum.

I often wonder how many of us really share many of our thoughts. Not our observations or trivial notes. Our thoughts: hopes, dreams, prayers, revelations. I know I am far deeper than my life gives me room to express. Take this for example: I haven't been feeling well at all lately, rather nauseous and getting a lot of headaches (pretty uncommon for a hearty kid with few health dilemmas). But something about being sick makes me feel like I'm actually living my life because I feel it affecting me, whether positively or negatively. Talk about sick. I'm probably alone in that, but there are times when I am so numb and unresponsive that, when my body cues me to address a situation, I'm incredibly thankful. I have a tendency to run through my life so fast and think of everything but myself so much that my body finally says, "HELLO! Handle this..."

Saturday morning I had an incredible opportunity to sit with a group of ladies who are all chasing Jesus. We sat over a beautiful breakfast and talked about things I had hoped I would be able to say. It was so exciting. But as I sit and listened to hopes that just developed followed up by dreams that seemed crushed for the moment, it was comforting to think of the God of these situations. The God that has orchestrated every piece and will deliver the righteous from all of their trouble; self-inflicted or not.

when I think of my life lately I'm drawn to the story of Hagar, in Genesis. As she flees her situation, angry, embarrassed, reluctant and disappointed, God finds her beside the water. I always used to sit beside the rivers or creeks back in West Virginia and hear the Lord so clearly. and that's what happened to Hagar. She said that surely she had heard from "The God who sees me,". That's the name she gave God. That's one of my favorite names for God. So kind, so simple. He sees me. When everyone else flies by, a million miles an hour, with no idea what's going on in my life at all, He is and will always be the God who sees me. And He waits patiently for me to turn to Him to share these issues of life, these fragments, and let my soul be satisfied within His response.

He's kind of a big deal...