Mercy.

Heavy-hearted the past few days. One of those moments where you walk blindly, and trust becomes far more than a word. I'm so grateful for examples of "real" faith in my life. People who are willing to walk out the tough things and see the Word of God made real in their lives. In times like this, their example gives me courage to do the same. 

Today, as I stopped in a local gas station, I grabbed a couple necessities and headed for the check-out line. You could feel the excitement of summer as people lined up at the counter with sodas and snacks, various components needed for boating and fun in the sun. I glanced behind me and saw the cutest little boy with his daddy. Probably almost four years old, with gorgeous blue eyes, blonde hair and sunkissed cheeks, he was waiting as patiently as he possibly could with the candy in his hands. On both ears, he wore cumbersome hearing aids. A woman behind me gently asked the his father, "Was he born deaf?" The dad placed a hand on his son's head and glanced down, offering a polite smile, "Yes...he was." 

"She was born with hearing in only one ear," the lady shared as she wrapped an arm around her daughter's shoulders, probably about ten years old. The parents swapped some details as I hurriedly made my way out of the store, concealing tears. 

There are so many difficult things in life. And I have been spared so very many of them. I'm so glad God knows all of our trouble. And He cares for us so gently and so lovingly as we walk through the hardship. I have learned that, in general, I need not ask Him "why?". For me, it can be a self-defeating question, leading me to more questions and, eventually too much despair to handle. "Will you bring me help and comfort?" and "How should I walk?" have served as good alternatives to "why?" for me. 

God is bringing new understanding of His mercy in my life. Very often, "mercy" and "grace" are contrasted. And "mercy" ends up getting cheapened by a definition like, "not getting what we deserve," or being "spared a punishment". But, this week, as I began dwelling on that word, God shed a new light on it during one of our worship services. 

Did you ever play "mercy" as a kid? You know how it goes - you and one other person inflict a copious amount of pain on one another until someone cries out, "Mercy! Mercy!" and that said crier-outer gets relieved of the pain? (Maybe my family is the only group of crazy people who took part in this activity.) But, I can assure you, I always did whatever I could to avoid using that word. Only the weak one cried out for mercy (a myth I carried over into my spiritual life).

With that picture in mind, I read through a biblical definition of mercy. And this is what affected me so deeply. 

Mercy is:  "the expression of pity; the action taken out of compassion for others to alleviate their misery and relieve their suffering. Mercy is God's tender regard for man..."

There are so many moments in life when my view of suffering is so skewed. I don't cry out for mercy because, "I can do it myself". (Spiritual pride is a dangerous thing. And it leads to multiplied pain. But that's for another day...) Or, I stay silent because I doubt the goodness of God and His desire to alleviate my pain. 

But when I take the view of God that He not only can, but wants to do something about my hurt, and I cry out, "Mercy!", I am able to immediately receive His comfort and care. The details of the situation may still be the same: the same sickness, loss, devastation. But the reality of the situation changes for me the very instant that I invite the Almighty God to wave His hand over my heart and whisper, "Peace." His mercy is distributed, pain is alleviated and there is a calm all around. This serene place, where quiet makes its way to my soul even in the midst of chaos, is the eye of the storm. And it's always safer to be with Jesus in the middle of a storm than to be in the sunshine without Him. 

That's why Paul encourages us to, "Let the peace of Christ rule in our hearts...". 

So, today, as I walk through my own pain and watch those I love endure what seems to be more than their fair share of hardship, I choose to let the peace of Christ rule and turn my face to Heaven, even if it's only to whisper, "mercy...".