the trap

"The fear of man's opinion is disabling..." 

Proverbs 29:25

I am incapable of making sincere decisions. Ones that I live out from my heart.

Unable to express the joy God has put in my soul.

Afraid of speaking His truth.

Disabled. Broken.

Why? Because what if they think the worst? What if they assume my motives are impure? What if they judge me? Gossip about me? Drag my reputation through the mud?

What if? They will. They have. They do.

You know how it feels - your best act of love rejected, your sincerest intentions questioned, your most vulnerable moment thrown in your face.

It breaks, binds, and suffocates. And I allow it to. Why?

Because, when the truth is told, I'm more afraid of man's opinion than I am of losing God's favor. I'm more intimidated by the daunting eyes and words of others' judgment than I am worried about the complete loss of myself. And that's what happens when I cower to, bow before, the opinion of men. I lose sight of Jesus; I lose any understanding of who He made me to be.

What a miserable place to live - in the fear of man.

Today, my parents were visiting with us for just a brief time. We sat at the table to eat breakfast and my dad said, "Let me share a Scripture with you, Amanda." I put my fork down, sensing the holiness of the moment.

"God has not given you a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind." 2 Tim. 1:7

And though I've heard those words so many times...

This morning, I heard him to say, "God has not given you a spirit of the fear of people..."

Some time ago, I was a confident, undaunted twenty-something who wasn't afraid to be sincere. Didn't hesitate to let you behind the scenes. And didn't worry if you didn't like what you saw. 

But the enemy knows the best way to snare us, to trap us. The quickest way to disable us. So, just a few naysayers, critics, judges, and haters and suddenly I'm in the corner, throwing in the towel, and looking for the best way to get out of the ring and give up forever. 

I think Jesus had His moments. The moments when the praise or hate of men beckoned Him to bow. But Scripture makes it plain, "Jesus didn't entrust Himself to them because He knew how untrustworthy they were. He didn't need any help seeing right through them." John 2:24-25

Though He never ceased to be fully man and fully God, and He never backed down, He never expected even those closest to understand and 'attaboy' Him at all times. 

He found Himself centered on His Father, undaunted by the hate, judgment, criticism, love, worship, praise of men. Free to live in God's will, unrestrained. 

I want to follow Him selflessly. Unworried about how I'll be perceived. So do you, if you're honest. So what's stopping you? The only person who can hold you back, bind you up, trap you...is you. 

Be free. Follow Him as you are. He will do the rest. Don't entrust yourself to man. Entrust yourself to the One who never fails.