New shoes and bad haircuts.

This is my grandmother, Ora, and her lovely sister, Sarah. We all spent Mother's Day together this year which was such an "icing on the cake" time. And Gramma stayed an extra day with Aunt Sarah to give as many hugs, smiles and "see ya later's" as possible. Because Gramma lives in Arizona and and Aunt Sarah is snug in the hills of Monongahela, Pennsylvania, times spent together are very precious to them.

Cancer is an illusive thing. And I'm realizing the treatment of the disease generally causes people to appear sicker than the cancer itself. Our last bout with this was a far different story: chemo, long hospital stays, to the edge of death and back. The medicine was possibly more painful than the disease (in the short term). While Gramma is navigating this without treatment, she seems fine. Today, we drove an hour and a half to Pittsburgh, strolled the mall looking for a Cadillac of a crib for my superhero nephew, hit up a shoe store (where she bought two new pairs of Sketchers :) and ate lunch at Chik Fil A (a gift to me because I so sorely miss it!).

But, the reality? She's not fine. At all. Physically, anyway. Though when she greets people she extends a cordial, "I'm wonderful! And how are you doing, (insert name here)?". There are moments when we're laughing and enjoying things and the knowledge sweeps over me, "she's sick...". But she is so very strong. She walked with us all day today. She insists on pushing herself - says that people who push to (and sometimes beyond) their limits stay well. She also informed me today that cancer craves sugar and she's, "Starving it! Not even a morsel!"

And we do our best to laugh. Gramma and mom have meticulously cared for the wig she's been wearing the past couple of years. But despite their maintenance, it began to look a little dishevelled. Mom, who is the most incredible servant heart I've ever seen, took it upon herself to give Gramma's wig a little grooming. Let's just say Mom is a very good nurse...(so much for, "Don't worry...it'll grow out!").

Today, as we arrived back at the house and changed our clothes after our day out on the town, Gramma smiled brightly at everyone and said goodnight at about 9 o'clock. I know she closes the bedroom door and is able to be quiet before the Father, unafraid to show Him her weakness, fatigue or indescribable pain. And I am so glad we all have Him. He takes such good care of each of us.

In other news, my newest nephew is totally and completely nocturnal. I'm sleeping in the family room and have the opportunity to smile every 2-3 hours as I hear my brother or sister-in-law creep by me and to the kitchen to heat up a bottle.

It's an interesting house to be in right now. New life...fresh, barely opening its eyes and stretching to take in as much as possible. And in the next room, life that could possibly be nearing transition. And a group of people grappling with all the hairy details of both ends. I look forward to sharing with you some of the more prominent moments of the journey. But, for now, I must protect those delicate things and all their implications until the Lord has fully shown me what is good to share.

I can say that there is a new depth and understanding in our family about the sovereignty, providence and constant care of Almighty God. Reading through a book by Elisabeth Elliot, I stumbled on this verse of an old hymn and it has reached into my heart with such comfort. Elliot describes the hardest moments for her after her husband, Jim, had died. "Waking in the morning was always the worst time - oh dear, another day without him...was my thought." But she said the Lord gently brought remembrance of these words to her:

"Still, still with Thee, when purple morning breaketh,

When the bird waketh, and the shadows flee;

Fairer than morning, lovelier than daylight

Dawns the sweet consciousness, I am with Thee."
-Harriet Beecher Stowe

Brings new meaning to, "He's all I need?" doesn't it? We must be careful never to sing words like those flippantly. We never know when we may be ushered into a season that brings the proof of such words to bear in our lives.